Does Dr Who Cause Cannibalism?

Few of us can have failed to notice the sudden boom in cannibalism in recent weeks exemplified by stories like the the 'Gay Porn Psycho Cannibal Killer' and 'Cannibal Chews Man's Face Off'.  No-one can say for certain if this is just a fad or whether there are deeper causes, such as the decline in church attendance, rap music or Facebook, but there can be no doubt that the internet is involved.

If 'Hardcore Porn Causes 12 Year old to Rape', as no less respected a source than the Daily Mail tells us, there's no doubt it's involved somehow, along with the 'bath salts' which have now been struck off the list of suitable Mother's Day Gifts by all right-thinking individuals.

But why has no-one yet pointed the finger towards the most likely suspect:  Dr Who?  Less than thirty years before the attacks mentioned above the BBC recklessly broadcast Series 24 of the notorious "children's TV Sci-Fi" programme which featured numerous references to cannibalism. Not only did it show the infamous nappy-clad (diapers for US readers) cannibals of 'Vengance for Varos' but also 'the Two Doctors' featured punk transvestite "Shockeye"(above) killing and eating a helpless, elderly blind woman - after sampling raw rat and dismissing it as not tasty enough. If that were not enough almost the entire plot of 'Revelation of the Daleks' revolves around a planet purporting to be a cemetery which is in fact recycling corpses as food for humans!

Now there is no proof, as yet, that either of the attackers were fanatical Dr Who viewers - though it would come as no surprise if they were - but surely the mere fact that within a mere thirty years of the programmes being broadcast these attacks took place must be enough to raise concern.  And the behaviour of the BBC in not anticipating the possibility of copycat attacks must border on recklessness.  We must not jump to conclusions.  There is, as yet no concrete proof that Dr Who was the main cause of these incidents, though it would take a brave soul to deny that exposing young minds at a sensitive period of their development to Colin Baker's costume must have caused serious and lasting trauma.

Nonetheless it is surely now time to take a precautionary approach, and until it can be positively proved that Dr Who does not cause cannibal killing a moratorium on transmission of all episodes should be established and Matt Smith's encounters with aliens replaced with more wholesome fare.  Personally I would welcome repeats of 'Whacko' starring Jimmy Edwards as a replacement.  It never did me any harm!